coloring tip

i'm a hypocrite here.  find out which colors look good on you, then buy lots of shirts in that color.  supposedly i look good in pink but i hardly have any pink clothes.  please note that dark skin looks awesome in teal.

fuzzy hair dog tip

you know those cute dogs with tons of curly fur?  yeah, don't get one of those.  at aids walk one year, i saw a fuzzy hair dog with a mound of poo stuck to its ass fur.  do you really want to be wiping down a dog's butt?  yeah, i didn't so. 

airport tips

wear shoes you can slip in and out of comfortably as you're going through security.  don't wear sandals or slippers though because the plane can get cold.  bring some dry snacks for the flight.  airplane food sucks.  and try to sit by the window, the view is awesome! 

cell phone tip

with the cellphones i had in taiwan, i could program songs into them.  it's not the same as downloading a ringtone.  you would actually punch in numbers representative of musical notes.  none of the phones i've had in the states have had that capability.  it was fun to program the inspector gadget theme song into my phone.  they should make it available for US phones.

bathroom stall tip

say there are 5 free bathroom stalls.  i take number 4.  can you please NOT take numbers 3 or 5?  in a world with plenty of available stalls, don't take the one RIGHT NEXT TO someone else.  that's kind of awkward.

birthday cake tip

hey, if your birthday is coming up, make sure people know what kind of cake you like.  and if your friend's birthday is coming up, ask what kind of cake herm likes.  and can you please not be all, "oh, i don't care.  just get whatever."  that's just an invitation to marzipan hell.  let's all try to eliminate getting a yucky cake that we don't like on our bdays! 

 

p.s. i like american cake waaaaaay more than chinese cake.

soda dispenser tip

when you get those mammoth soda cups at the amusement park, don't let them fill the cup completely with ice.  just ask for like 2 inches of ice, that'll keep your drink cool enough.  those people are trained to screw you if you're not careful.  $5 for a soda--egads, man!

convos in the bathroom tip

i like you, i really do, but it's super hard to pee when you're talking to me. 

cheer tip

send a sealed picture of your super dorkiness for a friend to open when he/she is bummed out.

taboo game tip

precious seconds are ticking away.  if you're the clue giver, don't bother saying your partners have guessed right.  just flip to the next card and give the new clues.  don't skip cards--that gives you negative points.

itch tip

slap an itch rather than scratch it.  the pain temporarily kills the itchiness.  if you scratch, you might tear your skin and bleed.

trampoline tip

heard this on the radio.  dunno if it's 100% true though.  apparently, after you've had kids, when you jump on a trampoline, you accidentally pee a little.  that sucks.

parking ticket tip

in berkeley at least, you have to move your car past an intersection when your parking time expires.  once i just moved my car a couple of parking spaces ahead and got a ticket.  so.  you have to actually cross an intersection--that's what the parking meter man told me.

"it's not a big deal" tip

it's very important to note when someone says, "it's not a big deal, but . . . "  they don't mean it.  they actually mean that it IS a big deal--a big, huge, freaking deal.  if it wasn't a big deal, they wouldn't have mentioned it at all in the first place.  i really hate that.  it's so confusing.  i wish people didn't do that . . . if you have something to say, just say it.  don't preface it with a totally fake "it's not a big deal."  how do you promote good communication with those kinds of tactics?  can you please just say what you mean?  i mean, you don't have to be a dick about it.  you know just, "hey, this is a problem.  what can we do about it?" 

 

anyway, i didn't fully realize this until recently.  to me, it was always, well if it's not a big deal, then i don't need to change.  but now, i realize what people really mean . . .

boogie boarding tip

chicks should wear board shorts because if you're only wearing a regular swimsuit, you're gonna get a wedgie.  and watch out for those rocks.

bathroom tip

hey.  wash your hands BEFORE you use the bathroom.  and then wash them again, AFTER you use the bathroom.

another library tip

worst time to go to a public library is right after school because the place is flooded with loud kids.

children's books tip

if any of you decide to pen a children's book and want to save it from being weeded from a library's collection, just make sure the pictures are of nonwhite kids.  libraries are always wanting to showcase diversity in their children's collections and will most likely keep those books, even if they don't circulate so well. 

fastrak tip

did you know that you don't have to put the fastrak corresponder on your dashboard?  i leave mine in a little tray by my hand break.  i don't like it on my dash because it'll reflect off the windshield and block my view.  and did you also know that if you happen to go faster than 25 mph thru the toll, your fastrak will still beep?

another toilet paper tip

listen up.  this one is important.  toilet paper should ALWAYS roll over the top!  when tp rolls under, it is more likely to touch the filthy bathroom wall when it hangs a few inches.  whereas when it hangs over the top, it won't touch the wall.