how to avoid a speeding ticket

you're on the road, going fast, maybe a little too fast.  suddenly you see flashing red lights approaching.  have no fear, here's what you do.  get on your bluetooth and dial 911.  report a fake accident a few exits ahead.  the officer will be routed to that fake accident since it's a higher priority and you'll be scott free.  make sure your caller id is restricted otherwise you might have some explaining to do if they call you back.  and chp is notorious for their long wait times, which could be another wrench.  next time, just drive slower.