crap brush tip

when you start using a new toothbrush, don't just throw your old one away!  you can label it "crap brush" with a permanent marker and use it to scrub stains off your clothes.

cheap calendar tip

calendars are half off the day after xmas at stoneridge mall.  i got a toilet calendar for $7.  cha-ching!

label tip

write your phone number on a thick broccoli rubberband and place it around the handle of your umbrella.  hopefully if you lose your umbrella someone will call you.

i need tips

anyone have any tips on not freaking out about turning 30? 

candied yams

when you make candied yams, really really boil the yams.  i mistakenly thought they'd just cook in the oven but they were still raw in the middle.  thank goodness for the microwave.

zero tip

i'm a big fan of clarity.  when you're spouting off an alphanumeric sequence, please remember that "oh" means the letter "o" and "zero" means the number.  not everybody knows this so when they say "oh," you should ask if they mean zero or the letter "o."  this is especially important for emails and web addresses. 

another umbrella tip

lots of people do this but not me.  maybe i need to start . . .

keep an umbrella in the trunk of your car. 

green bean casserole tip

this is what happens when you don't follow instructions.  you know that delicious green bean casserole with fried onions and cream of mushroom soup?  i made some recently and used frozen green beans.  last time i made them with canned beans and they're a weird, gross grey green color.  frozen green beans pretty much keep the same color as fresh beans.  anyway, the recipe said to thaw the beans but did i listen?  nope.  i tossed them in frozen, just thinking that they'll cook in the oven.  when the casserole was done, the beans were merely warm.  they'd be so much better HOT!  i'll remember for next time.  here's the recipe, it's really easy--so easy even i can make it :o)

 

	Ingredients: 1  (10 3/4 oz.) can  CAMPBELL'S® Cream of Mushroom Soup 3/4  cup  milk 1/8  tsp.  black pepper 2  (9 oz. each) pkgs.  frozen cut green beans, thawed* 1 1/3  cups  FRENCH'S® Original or Cheddar French Fried Onions
	Directions:
	1.MIX soup, milk and pepper in a 1 1/2 -qt. baking dish. Stir in beans and 2/3 cup French Fried Onions. 2.BAKE at 350°F for 30 min. or until hot. 3.STIR. Top with remaining 2/3 cup onions. Bake 5 min. until onions are golden.

thrift store tip

thrift stores should automatically dump any articles of clothing that have stains or tears.  who the ef is going to buy a shirt with some deodorant stains on it?!  dude, space is at a premium at those stores as new items are constantly coming in.  they need to weed the items that are obviously trash.  

white elephant tip

had the opportunity to participate in a white elephant gift exchange last night.  i had last pick so i could either choose to open the last gift, OR steal someone else's.  it just so happened that the last gift standing was the largest box.  ever curious, i opened it and received . . . broccoli!!!!  what a hysterical idea :o)

braid tip

boys should know how to braid too!  dude, it takes like a minute to learn.  let's make december teach-a-boy-how-to-braid month.

lemon squares tip

i'd been melting the butter in the microwave so it'd mix better with the flour and powdered sugar.  today i discovered it's WAY better tasting if you don't microwave the butter!  the crust is flakier and more shortbread like.  plus it means i can take out all my aggressions by oozing greasy solid butter between my fingers.  score!

salt tip

taste your food before adding salt.  and then don't add too much at one time otherwise you might end up oversalting.

eating out tip

do you ever feel like you've been eating out too much?  i try not to eat out too much because then i really don't appreciate it as much.  eating out should be a treat, not the norm.  i really want to eat at home the day after eating out. 

salad tip

thin slices of persimmon are lovely in a nice salad.  ditto fuji apple chunks.

work life balance tip

in the book i just finished reading, ahead of the curve, the author talks about how most of the guest speakers from top notch companies and fellow harvard mba's had shitty relationships with their children because they'd put in a massive number of hours at work.  he spoke about how making millions was quantifiable, whereas having a healthy relationship with your kids wasn't.  is that crazy?  and a bunch of them were divorced too.  he made it seem very one-or-the-other.  either you have this really successful professional life and your kids are strangers, or you bond with your kids and don't climb up the professional ladder.  i find that horrific.  of course he was really talking about ceo type people, not people like me.  the tip is this:  try not to sell your soul for cash.  i think it's less fun to be loaded and have your kids hate you than to be moderately wealthy and actually be involved with your kids' lives.

marble (?) tip

a few months ago i used the green side of a scrub brush to wipe down my bathroom sink.  huge mistake--now there are scratches.  i've been halfassedly looking for a way to fix it.  polish?  buffing?  i don't know.  any hints?  but the tip is this:  don't use a green scrub to clean marble.

tv tip

when you make a tv show like heroes, don't keep having tons and tons of new characters.  it doesn't leave you any time to focus on any of them.  and that whole going back and forward in time thing is confusing as all heck.

Nora Ephron's tips

I listened to a book on tape called I Feel Bad About My Neck by Nora Ephron. Here is one of my favorite sections, called "What I Wish I'd Known." My comments are in red--i mean PINK! People have only one way to be. Buy, don't rent. Never marry a man you wouldn't want to be divorced from. I never would have even thought of that! Don't cover a couch with anything that isn't more or less beige. Don't buy anything that is 100 per cent wool even if it seems to be very soft and not particularly itchy when you try it on in the store. You can't be friends with people who call after 11 p.m. Block everyone on your instant mail. The world's greatest babysitter burns out after two and a half years. You never know. The last four years of psychoanalysis are a waste of money. The plane is not going to crash. Anything you think is wrong with your body at the age of 35 you will be nostalgic for at the age of 45. At the age of 55 you will get a saggy roll just above your waist even if you are painfully thin. This saggy roll just above your waist will be especially visible from the back and will force you to re-evaluate half the clothes in your closet, especially the white shirts. Write everything down. Keep a journal. Take more pictures. I especially like this one. The empty nest is underrated. You can order more than one dessert. This is my kind of girl! You can't own too many black turtleneck sweaters. She goes into great detail in the first part of the book about the old lady wattle. If the shoe doesn't fit in the shoe store, it's never going to fit. When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you. Back up your files. Overinsure everything. Whenever someone says the words, "Our friendship is more important than this," watch out, because it almost never is. There's no point in making piecrust from scratch. I'll disagree with this one. The reason you're waking up in the middle of the night is the second glass of wine. The minute you decide to get divorced, go see a lawyer and file the papers. Overtip. Never let them know. If only one-third of your clothes are mistakes, you're ahead of the game. If friends ask you to be their child's guardian in case they die in a plane crash, you can say no. There are no secrets. Nora Ephron is fabulous and she reminds me of a mentor of mine.

too casual tip

i don't really understand it when people wear pajamas when they're officially out in the world.  if you're just stepping out to pick up the newspaper from your front stoop then whatever.  but when high schoolers wear them to go to school when it's not spirit week, well that's just really weird to me. 

haggle tip

i'm on a high from the flea market.  bought myself a gently used jansport backpack for $6, haggled down from $8!  flea markets are great because you can totally negotiate price.

oaktown street food tip

went to the flea market today.  outside the official flea market, before you have to pay the dollar entrance fee, there's a pupusa stand where you can get pupusas stuffed with cheese and topped with salsa and cabbage for $2.50.  they are hella good!  there's a big ol' long line of customers and the kid who collects the money is holding a big wad of cash.  that's just how popular they are.  there's a big tub of raw meal and two ladies pat pat pat away to make lovely, delicious pupusas. 

mervyn's tip

mervyn's is closing.  go buy stuff for cheap.

yummy candy

ever have a charleston chew?  they're terrific, and especially so frozen.

krispy kreme tip

apparently if you have your voting sticker you can get a free red white and blue donut from krispy kreme today.

ahead of the curve tip

this is from the book i'm currently reading.  the author describes one of his orientations and how one piece of advice a prof gave the class was this:  don't become a cynic.

 

isn't that beautiful advice?

caramel apple tip

the best apple to use when making/buying caramel apples is fuji apples!  they taste better than the traditional granny smith variety.  and it's super simple to make too!  you get a bag of milk maid caramels and open up half the caramels and cook it over low heat with a tablespoon of water.  once the caramel is all melted, slather the fuji apple with a THICK layer of caramel.  i was kind of holding the apple in front of the freezer, trying to get the caramel to solidify so i could gobble it down.  HELLA GOOD!

better weather tip

weather.com gives 10 day forecasts for weather.  some of the other sites just give a 3-5 day forecast.

rainy crime

super interesting.  i just learned today that "criminals don't like to be criminals in the rain."  in the jails, staff like to work overtime when it's raining because then there isn't a lot of new incoming riff raff to deal with.

map tips

when you print out door to door directions, it's helpful to note the mileage from one road to the next turn because sometimes roads don't have clear signage on corners.

steering wheel tip

whoever thought of having the radio controls on the steering wheel is a genius!  i've only seen a couple of cars that have it, but the drivers always love it. 

skymall tips

the skymall magazine in the southwest planes is pretty fun to look at.  i saw this cool bluetooth for your phone that you attach to your steering wheel.  it cost around 100 bucks.  there was also this carrier for laptops that would allow users to walk around and use a laptop at the same time.  also i saw a device that ages wine.  very inventive stuff, the skymall magazine.

inspired? tip

i've been tinkering around with the idea of getting up earlier and biking around for like half an hour in the morning.  i could take along a portable radio and listen to sarah and vinnie.  let's see how i do with that.  i'm making myself semi-accountable here.  now that i've said i'll try to bike more, i will (hopefully)!  it's starting to get dark earlier and the morning is a better time to bike around.  i suspect it'll be cold so i'll be sporting a fashionable beanie, gloves and maybe a scarf, although i'd be afraid the scarf would get tangled up in the bike spokes. 

value tip

just because something costs a lot doesn't necessarily make it good.  i recently paid $2.75 for a cupcake that didn't taste any good.  it's a good lesson to keep in mind.

another soap tip

this is what i do when my piece of soap becomes too small to use.  i take a new bar of soap, wet the old scrap soap and grind it into the new bar.  eventually it'll stick and become one piece of soap. 

neighborhood farmer's market

wouldn't this be a great idea?  make friends with your neighbors and each house plant a couple of different fruits and vegetables.  then you can share with each other and save on the grocery bill!

yet another book tip

i'm not an ipod person so i always have a lightweight book in my backpack. i read on bart and when i'm waiting in line, it's better than doing nothing. plus, most of the time at least, reading is fun. now go find a book for yourself.

after spin class tip

ever see run fat boy run?  it's hysterical!  simon pegg is tops.  he's such an endearing, hilarious, average looking english bloke.  anyway, there's this scene in the  movie where he's in a grueling spin class (bicycling in case you're like me and didn't know what the eff spin class was) and afterwards he's got to take some stairs.  well this poor bastard is out of shape and at that first step, his legs are too rubbery and he goes tumbling down! 

be careful after spin class/hiking/running.  your legs might be weaker than usual.

cheap grub tip

those entertainment books are a pretty sweet deal.  most of the restaurant coupons are buy one entree and get the 2nd one 1/2 off.  the only thing is sometimes the restaurants change owners and the new owners don't honor the coupon.  i'd call beforehand to make sure they take the coupons before you go.  the books cost $30 and the prices drop if you buy them later in the year.  i've seen them for $15. 

free stuff tip

i was in berkeley yesterday and as i was walking past a house, saw some lovely wooden hangers left outside with a "free" sign.  free hangers?!  cha-ching!  this reminded me of summer in davis when kids were cleaning out their apartments and getting ready to move.  you could find tons of free stuff on those bright, sunny days.  now all i have to do is clean the hangers and tada--i have fancy wooden hangers for my nonfancy, nonwooden clothes :o)

another name tip

if you have a freak name like i do, use a "normal" name when making reservations.  that way you don't have to deal with, "huh?" or "how do you spell that?"  i'm donna.  it's simple and no one ever asks how it's spelt.

voting tips

i don't understand why they have to make the language on the ballot so complex.  they're purposefully trying to confuse voters.  read carefully . . .

language tip

wanna learn a new language?  go to that country.  face it, you're never going to learn as good spanish here as you would if you lived in mexico.  bonus is if you can live with a family with a very young child, that way you can learn together. 

niceness karma

read about this in esquire (another great mag) today.  apparently, when you tell your friend sally great things about your friend bob, sally will associate those great things with YOU, even though you were totally talking about someone else. 

 

the opposite is true too:  if you talk hella smack about bob to sally, sally will associate all those awful things with you.

 

ergo, say only nice things about others :o)

old people tip

there's this new picture in magazine ads of a supposedly md/phd.  he's an older white man with white hair and partially bald.  the jarring thing about his picture is that he is really buff.  it's super weird to see an overly muscular old dude.

 

please, when you grow older, feel free to atrophy gracefully.  our eyeballs will thank you.

cool magazine tip

here's a great magazine to paw through whenever you have some free time at a big box bookstore:  Ready Made.  It has all sorts of fabulous ideas about designs and how to make cool stuff.  The last issue I looked at had a chandelier made of plastic clothes hangers.  These people are clever, clever, clever!

baldness tip

for people who volunteer to be bald, it's actually a hassle because you have to shave it every day.  yes, that's right.  every . . . day.

winter coat tip

when you consider buying a winter coat for the winter months, make sure the hood has drawstrings.  i once bought a coat from old navy that had only a velcro strap for the hood.  in windy weather the hood would just fly off my head.  piece of crap. 

bread crust tip

don't cut the crust off your kids' sandwiches.  that's spoiling them.  they should take the bad with the good. 

worry tip

too much effort is spent on worrying about things that will never come to pass.  why do we do this to ourselves?  it's almost like we're afraid to be happy.

kid tip

in private, parents ought to teach kids how to behave in public.  imagine if you will, a mom, a child and another adult.    child to other adult:  are you pregnant? mom:  junior, you shouldn't ask that question. other adult [obviously embarrassed]:  um, no . . .   now see, if, in the privacy of their own home, the mom had instructed the child not to ask that question, the other adult would have been spared the mortification.    surely not all of these situations can be avoided, but they will be less frequent with some preplanning and guidance.

mood tip

it's better to make someone laugh than to make someone cry.  but sometimes, unfortunately, you will make someone cry.

potty mouth tip

i'm being a hypocrite with this one.  when meeting someone new, or talking to someone you're not very familiar with, refrain from using curse words.  you may be unwittingly offending the other party.    and now a note about myself:  i kind of like it when people swear a little around me.  it shows that they're comfortable.    but the thing is, you never want to just assume comfort.  some people are more formal than you are.

judgement tip

i've often found that the people who are the most judgemental are typically the worst offenders.

multiple copies tip

no doubt, retaining multiple copies of something may indeed save time and hassle.  however, the trouble with having multiple copies of something is that when you make an update, you have to update ALL those copies . . .

kid tip

don't rush a kid at a museum.  let him explore and learn something interesting.

mailbox tip

when dropping off a letter in the mailbox or depositing books in the bookdrop, open the door once again to make sure it went in.  you wouldn't want your postcard to be sitting on the door ledge.

fun tip

at least once in your life, purchase a caricature of yourself from a street artist.  and at least once in your life, draw a caricature of someone else.

highlighter tip

of all the possible colors for a highlighter, yellow is the worst choice because over time the brightness fades and it becomes difficult to distinguish the highlighted portions of text from the unhighlighted portions.   i use green.

licence plate frames

i just read somewhere that speeding drivers who have the chp license plate frames are less likely to get a speeding ticket.  one guys said he's been pulled over a few times, but they officers just let him off with a warning.

higher circ tip

did you know that hayward's director tossed 25% of their books so they'd have more display area?  and then, do you know what happened?  their circ stats went up!  it's all about displaying books.  it's hard to market books that are spine out on the shelves.  but books that are displayed with the front cover facing out tend to circ a lot more. 

reese witherspoon's smile tip

read this in a mag somewhere.  when you smile, instead of saying "cheese," push your tongue behind your top teeth.  apparently reese witherspoon's stylist told her to do that.

diet tip

ok, i've just thought of the perfect thing for dieters.  whenever you feel hungry, just open up this jar that smells like foul poop.  one whiff of that and bye bye appetite.

biking tip

some bikers might wear a reflector strip on the bottom of their right pantleg so it doesn't get caught in the gear.  i'm not that fancy so i just use an old shoelace to tie up my pantleg.

fashion faux pax

if you're wearing jeans, don't also wear a denim jacket.  all together now, "no denim on denim."

kidney stones

in general, drink lots of water if only to avoid kidney stones.  i hear passing stones is akin to giving birth.  ouch.

hiking tip

don't drink too much water when you go hiking because there might not be a bathroom.  at the same time, don't get all dehydrated.

fight tip

not that i've ever been in a fight or anything . . . i've heard that when you hit someone, you shouldn't use a balled up fist because you might injure your knuckles.  instead, use the bottom of the palm of your hand.

college tip

i was constantly amazed by how little college students know about their college town.  for pete's sakes, you're there for 4 years.  go explore a little!  walk around, take a bike ride!

convo starter

OK, I really should collect these.  Here is a good conversation starter with a group that has fallen into a lull:  Is anyone going on vacation anytime soon?  Typically in a group, at least one person will be going on vaca, or will have come back from vaca fairly recently.  Pow, instant conversation!  You're welcome.

wireless headset

i hate mine!  it's really loud in my ear even when i turn down the volume.  who wants it?  i have a jabra bt 3010  it's easier for me to just use speakerphone.  you'll have to clean the earbud, it's got some of my earpoo on it.

jamba share tip

find a friend and get a regular 32 oz jamba juice drink you can both agree on.  ask the juicer to pour it into two 16 oz cups.  tada--two drinks for the hefty price of one!

coloring tip

i'm a hypocrite here.  find out which colors look good on you, then buy lots of shirts in that color.  supposedly i look good in pink but i hardly have any pink clothes.  please note that dark skin looks awesome in teal.

fuzzy hair dog tip

you know those cute dogs with tons of curly fur?  yeah, don't get one of those.  at aids walk one year, i saw a fuzzy hair dog with a mound of poo stuck to its ass fur.  do you really want to be wiping down a dog's butt?  yeah, i didn't so. 

airport tips

wear shoes you can slip in and out of comfortably as you're going through security.  don't wear sandals or slippers though because the plane can get cold.  bring some dry snacks for the flight.  airplane food sucks.  and try to sit by the window, the view is awesome! 

cell phone tip

with the cellphones i had in taiwan, i could program songs into them.  it's not the same as downloading a ringtone.  you would actually punch in numbers representative of musical notes.  none of the phones i've had in the states have had that capability.  it was fun to program the inspector gadget theme song into my phone.  they should make it available for US phones.

bathroom stall tip

say there are 5 free bathroom stalls.  i take number 4.  can you please NOT take numbers 3 or 5?  in a world with plenty of available stalls, don't take the one RIGHT NEXT TO someone else.  that's kind of awkward.

birthday cake tip

hey, if your birthday is coming up, make sure people know what kind of cake you like.  and if your friend's birthday is coming up, ask what kind of cake herm likes.  and can you please not be all, "oh, i don't care.  just get whatever."  that's just an invitation to marzipan hell.  let's all try to eliminate getting a yucky cake that we don't like on our bdays! 

 

p.s. i like american cake waaaaaay more than chinese cake.

soda dispenser tip

when you get those mammoth soda cups at the amusement park, don't let them fill the cup completely with ice.  just ask for like 2 inches of ice, that'll keep your drink cool enough.  those people are trained to screw you if you're not careful.  $5 for a soda--egads, man!

convos in the bathroom tip

i like you, i really do, but it's super hard to pee when you're talking to me. 

cheer tip

send a sealed picture of your super dorkiness for a friend to open when he/she is bummed out.

taboo game tip

precious seconds are ticking away.  if you're the clue giver, don't bother saying your partners have guessed right.  just flip to the next card and give the new clues.  don't skip cards--that gives you negative points.

itch tip

slap an itch rather than scratch it.  the pain temporarily kills the itchiness.  if you scratch, you might tear your skin and bleed.

trampoline tip

heard this on the radio.  dunno if it's 100% true though.  apparently, after you've had kids, when you jump on a trampoline, you accidentally pee a little.  that sucks.

parking ticket tip

in berkeley at least, you have to move your car past an intersection when your parking time expires.  once i just moved my car a couple of parking spaces ahead and got a ticket.  so.  you have to actually cross an intersection--that's what the parking meter man told me.

"it's not a big deal" tip

it's very important to note when someone says, "it's not a big deal, but . . . "  they don't mean it.  they actually mean that it IS a big deal--a big, huge, freaking deal.  if it wasn't a big deal, they wouldn't have mentioned it at all in the first place.  i really hate that.  it's so confusing.  i wish people didn't do that . . . if you have something to say, just say it.  don't preface it with a totally fake "it's not a big deal."  how do you promote good communication with those kinds of tactics?  can you please just say what you mean?  i mean, you don't have to be a dick about it.  you know just, "hey, this is a problem.  what can we do about it?" 

 

anyway, i didn't fully realize this until recently.  to me, it was always, well if it's not a big deal, then i don't need to change.  but now, i realize what people really mean . . .

boogie boarding tip

chicks should wear board shorts because if you're only wearing a regular swimsuit, you're gonna get a wedgie.  and watch out for those rocks.

bathroom tip

hey.  wash your hands BEFORE you use the bathroom.  and then wash them again, AFTER you use the bathroom.

another library tip

worst time to go to a public library is right after school because the place is flooded with loud kids.

children's books tip

if any of you decide to pen a children's book and want to save it from being weeded from a library's collection, just make sure the pictures are of nonwhite kids.  libraries are always wanting to showcase diversity in their children's collections and will most likely keep those books, even if they don't circulate so well. 

fastrak tip

did you know that you don't have to put the fastrak corresponder on your dashboard?  i leave mine in a little tray by my hand break.  i don't like it on my dash because it'll reflect off the windshield and block my view.  and did you also know that if you happen to go faster than 25 mph thru the toll, your fastrak will still beep?

another toilet paper tip

listen up.  this one is important.  toilet paper should ALWAYS roll over the top!  when tp rolls under, it is more likely to touch the filthy bathroom wall when it hangs a few inches.  whereas when it hangs over the top, it won't touch the wall.

look hot tip

chicks:  have big hair

guys:  plain white t-shirt, blue jeans.  or wear all black.

picnic tip

when you go for a picnic, feel the grass before you sit down.  make sure it's dry.

best high school class tip

definitely take typing!  it was THE most valuable class in all four years of high school.  you learn which fingers to use for which keys and have to format letters and memos.  highly useful!  and a great way to practice typing is by using instant messaging.  zooooooom . . . watch your typing get super duper fast!

another BART tip

you're more likely to find an empty seat either in the front cars or the back cars.  the middle cars are more packed.  also, if i'm sitting alone and someone comes to sit next to me, i ask which station they're getting off at.  if they're getting off after me, then i have them sit on the inside.  if they're getting off before me, then i sit on the inside.  also, avoid sitting in the elderly/handicapped seats because then you might have to get up.  find a "regular" seat.

indigestion tip

just heard about this one today.  apparently downing a tablespoon of apple cider vinegar helps combat indigestion.  haven't tried it myself though.

cruel fun

if you have a snail problem, you can sprinkle some salt on the suckers and they'll bubble up like a freaky science experiment.  i did it only once--when i was a kid.

anthro tip

some time in your life, take an anthropology class even if it's just at a community college.  it was one of the most interesting classes i took.  and it was at chabot.  admittedly, my prof was awesome.  she was this forensic scientist.  so cool!

ohana hawaiian bbq

dude their portions are so big that you can eat half today and the other half tomorrow!  they cost around $7 so that's $3.50 per meal.  cha-ching!

hat tip

if your head is shaped like mine, you don't look good in a hat.  it's ok, there are many other joys in life.

fridge tip

this is a tip i learned in hawaii when i lived with an older lady who also happened to be a packrack.  you can't have your fridge be too full because the air won't circulate!  twice i had to throw out nearly a gallon of milk prior to the expiration date because it had gone bad.  the fridge was way too full.  my roommate, the other girl who was renting a room, and i were superpissed but of course we said nothing. 

stroganoff tip

put some fresh mushrooms in stroganoff--it tastes way better!

vulture tip

this tip is from a book on tape i'm listening to called "lucky you" by carl hiaasen.  vultures feed during the day and attack stuff that's not moving anymore.  so don't take a nap out in the open when you've got a big gash.  you have to keep moving.

shiny nails tip

this is a tip from the urawaza book.  if you rub receipt paper on your fingernails, they'll become shinier.  i just tried it and it works.  my nails are about 3 units more shiny now--not as shiny as if i'd polished them, but more shiny than before.

cookbook tip

when you consider a cookbook, get one that has pictures, that way you can gauge what the heck it's supposed to look like!

window shopping tip

had a blast yesterday window shopping on valencia in sf.  there are a bunch of knickknack shops and boutiques.  a highlight is the pirate store--826 valencia.  there are drawers on the walls that you can pull--they're cleverly labeled.  for instance, one drawer is marked "entrapment" and when you open it, it's chinese fingercuffs.  quite fun.  plus there are all these funny and clever signs about pirates.  oh and they have a lovely fish tank with a pufferfish (!).  you should go, it's really fun.

 

another fun window shopping place is haight--again, tons of clothes and knickknacks.  it's all junk, beautiful beautiful junk that you'd regret buying because it'd take up space in your house.  but it's so fun to look at!

BART tip

on the escalator, if you're just going to stand there, move to the righthand side.  that way you leave room for people who want to run or walk on the escalator on the lefthand side.  plus, if you're standing on the left side, people will think you're a novice BART rider or just totally rude.

tape tip

if you've got tape without a dispenser, you can fold a small piece of the end onto itself so that the next time you use it, you don't have to spend so much time picking it to open back up. 

"calm down" tip

people who are all stressed out and wired don't really appreciate it when others tell them to calm down.  it's much better to be the example of zen.  see calming tip

don't steal my pen tip

people hella walk off with pens that aren't supposed to be free.  how to prevent, how to prevent . . . you can roll up a regular piece of paper like a cone and have the point of the cone wrapping the top of the pen.  then use tape to secure and voila!  a hideous monstrosity of a pen that nobody is going to walk off with.

bully tip

i was never really bullied as a kid.  sure, some kids were mean sometimes, but they were just crappy people.  they didn't specifically target me.  i'm just thinking about how i managed to escape the k-12 years relatively unscathed.  guess it might be because i never really messed with anyone, called anyone out, or otherwise had a super strong personality.  my philosophy has always kind of been, don't mess with me and i won't mess with you.

scarf tip

knitting a scarf is waaaaaaaaaay more expense than buying a scarf.  but some people like the fact that you know, they made it themselves. 

rules tip

you should only have rules if you're really going to enforce them, otherwise they can become a joke.  honestly there's no real point to having a rule that isn't fully enforced.

toilet paper tip

when you notice your toilet paper getting low, get out another roll and make it visible in the bathroom.

dress shirt tip

ok, when you're wearing a light dress shirt, don't wear a t-shirt with writing underneath.  your light dress shirt is fairly translucent.  stick to a plain white t-shirt beneath your dress shirt.

revenge tip

two wrongs don't make a right, but at least you'll feel better.

theater babies

people who bring their coughing, crying babies to the movie theater suck.  get a dvd and stay at home.  can you not ruin the viewing experience for the rest of the audience?

bigger room tip

these are from the eHow book i'm reading currently.  have white walls, or at least light colored walls.  make your trim the same color as the walls.  different colors will make the walls look enclosed.  oh and make sure the furniture is proportionate to the room size.  if you have a small room, don't have a big ass table in the middle of it. 

inch tip

i swear, nobody knows how big an inch is.  i've had this discussion so many times.  just have a ruler handy if you have to seriously measure something.

pants fitting tip

got this tip from a friend long ago.  hold up a pair of pants so that the front and back are flush against each other.  if you can comfortably wrap the top rim of your pants around your neck, the pants will fit you. 

snorkel tip

breathing while snorkeling is different from breathing regularly.  What you want to do is take a deep breath, put the snorkel in your mouth, then FORCEFULLY exhale to expel the water in your tube.  now that your snorkel is clear, quickly take another deep breath.  continue to look at colorful fish, eels, starfish, coral and other sealife.  when you can't hold your breath any longer, FORCEFULLY exhale to expel any water that trickled into your tube and quickly inhale.  Repeat.

 

now the reason you can't really breath in and out rhythmically like you normally do is because when you're snorkeling, the waves may be splashing water into your snorkel.  that's why you have to FORCEFULLY exhale to get rid of any water that's currently in your tube.  then, when the tube is clear, you're free to inhale fresh air without swallowing any water.

driving tip

if you're driving a full car, ask your passengers to be your eyes when changing lanes or making a turn.  they might have a better vantage point than you do.

soap scrap tip

got this tip from the urawaza book, but haven't tried it for myself yet:  when you have just a scrap of bar soap left, microwave it and it'll grow bigger!

linoleum tip

linoleum kitchen floors suck because they're too slippery! 

lasik tip

yet another reason to get lasik.  i remember when i was wearing glasses and all the oil from my teenybopper face would coagulate in the small spaces between my rims and the lenses.  no fun.

putting on your shoes tip

when you put on shoes, use a couple of fingers as your shoehorn.  that way you're less likely to wear down the fabric of the inner heel of your shoe.

how to learn

i'm being a little bit of a hypocrite here because sometimes i don't follow my own advice.  ok, when you're trying to learn something.  freaking listen to what the teacher is saying.  just shut up and listen.  i swear, so many times i'm trying to tell someone how to do something and they totally don't hear what i say and i have to repeat the same thing four times.  so just slow down and listen.  then after your teacher is done talking, then ask questions.

 

but i understand the other end of it, definitely.  you're excited to learn something.  you're overeager.  your brain is overloaded.  you don't want to forget your question.  blah blah blah.

 

still, just listen.  listen . . .

library database search tip

patron comes up and goes, "do you want to see an example of a rude library patron?"  then he opens up scientific american mind and a whole article is ripped out.  so i try to find the article online.  on the cover of the mag there's a reference to the article he wants, so i type those words in a search engine and get a page where they want you to pay for it.  then i look in the library magazine database OneFile and nothing.  huh.  i look in the contents to find the article title, type it in and soon find the full article for free.  moral of the story--tinker around when you're looking for library stuff :o)

costco croissant tip

go to costco in SL to get your croissants.  my dad says they're perfect right now and i couldn't agree more!  they're not undercooked and they're all buttery goodness.  easy sandwich idea--fry an egg, cut up fresh tomato slices, and a slice of cheese (or if you don't have cheese, sprinkle some salt on the tomatoes).  Mmmm, croissant . . .

gardening tip

i am not a gardener, but i read about this tip in the eHow book i'm reading.  you should water your plants in the early morning--even before dusk, they say.  but honestly, who can get up that early?  i wonder if people make their kids wake up super early to water plants.  builds character--that's what i say!  anyway, you shouldn't water plants at night because they're more likely to develop a fungus.  weird huh?  guess it makes sense, since they'd be wet for too long.

monopoly tip

from any corner to the next corner is 10 spaces.  from any railroad to either of its adjacent corners is 5 spaces.  armed with this new knowledge, you don't have to slowly count out as many spaces when you go to move your piece.  say like you're on "go" and you roll a 7--so five spaces away is reading railroad, now you just have to count two spaces to make 7.

makeshift ladder

My grandpa was changing some lights and he gets on this barstool. Yeah, can you please not stand on a flimsy old barstool? It's scary for everyone watching.

bike slime tip

bike slime is this green goopy substance that seals small holes and prevents your tires from deflating. awesome stuff! the newer bottles have the valve core remover right on the lid so you don't have to use tweezers. it's not very expensive, you can get an 8 oz bottle for about $6 or so. you use 4 oz per bike tire. if you have a bike, you HAVE to invest in bike slime. there are all sorts of brambles that you can run over that would deflate your tires otherwise.

glutton tip

two heaping tablespoons of ice cream is almost as good as eating a whole pint.

printer tip

figure out if your printer prints on the bottom of the top face of a sheet of paper, or on the bottom. if it's the bottom, write yourself a note that says "using scratch paper? clean side down." that way you'll know which way to place your scratch paper when you don't want to print on new paper.

telemarketer tip

so the trick to hanging up on someone is to do it while YOU'RE the one who's talking.

calming tip

you know when people are really worked up? they generally talk really loud and faster than usual. well! you can counteract this by purposefully talking slowly and in a low tone. mr. hyperman will soon take your cue and calm the eff down too. just a nice trick i learned by taking care of a kid brother and answering 911 calls and dealing with irate customers in general.

magic tip

get some magic books at your library.  lots of entertainment!

gratitude tip

if you don't teach your kids to say thank you, then you are a bad parent.

tip tip

use your cellphone to calculate the tip when dining out.  it's 15% of the subtotal.  doubling the tax isn't very accurate.

door tip

when you step out a door, make sure it closes behind you.  sometimes doors don't shut all the way. 

name tip

millie is a really nice name.  i can picture it for a white girl or an asian girl.  and she has to have a round face--that's a requirement of being named millie.

tomato tip

wait until the tomato is ripe on its vine to pick.  the ones that are picked too early don't taste as good.  my mom says that tomatoes need a lot of sunlight to grow.  sadly we had a plant between our house and the neighbors and it didn't bear much fruit. 

peanut butter jelly tip

you have to refrigerate jelly and jam after you open the jar.  but you don't have to refrigerate the peanut butter.  in fact, if you leave it out, it's even easier to spread.  before college i used to put our peanut butter in the fridge and it was always a challenge to make a pbj sandwich. 

 

anyway, my point is that when you make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, first use a knife to spread the peanut butter, and if you're lazy, use the same knife to spread some jelly.  you might end up with trace amounts of peanut butter in the jelly jar but that's fine, it won't go bad. 

 

and as always, make sure to spread the peanut butter and jelly to the farthest edges of the crust.

lunchercise tip

if you have an hour lunch, eat fast and then go take a walk outside.  it'll be good for you and you'll feel better.  some people might go jogging during their lunch but then they stink for the rest of the day.

how to remove the valve core on a bike

when you unscrew the cap for your bike tire, you'll see something that looks like a metal stem in the middle--that's part of the valve core.  you have to remove the valve core if you want to add bike slime.  bike slime is this green liquid that seals small punctures so your tires don't deflate when you accidentally run over thorns while riding.  there's probably a special bike tool you can use, but tweezers work pretty well too.  you have to get the tweezers pretty far in, then unscrew it as the valve core is threaded. 

 

oh and whatever you do, don't use needle nose pliers to just yank out the "stem." 

lion and bear tip

learned this in school:
if approached by a lion, act really big and ferocious. if approached by a bear, act really shy.

chicken tip

dark meat is way tastier than white meat.

chick tip

read this somewhere.
chick: do i look fat in this dress?
best answer is . . .
dude: you look great to me!
and chicks, don't ask if you look fat in something. that's such a weird question.

phone number tip

i know you never call yourself, but you should still be able to spout off your own number. always.

book tip

fonts should be at least 12 point. i've seen some tiny, like 6 point font. yeah, that doesn't make for pleasant reading at all!

deven tip

have at least one person like middle school deven in your life. you'll have way more fun, learn a ton and perhaps sneak out of school in the trunk of a car.

spider tip

kill it using a shoe or slipper. if you use a tissue, it might rip right through the fibers and eat your hand. once it's smooshed with a shoe, you can use a paper to wipe it off the wall or floor. or you can call brent. he was really good at catching spiders and releasing them outside.

fear tip

people are afraid of things because they're taught to be afraid of them. i'm not scared of clowns because i was never taught to fear them. i used to be afraid of the dark because i was conditioned to fear night.

tattoo tip

chicks who expect to have kids shouldn't get tattoos on their stomachs because they get all stretched out and warped when pregnant.

big eyes tip

eyeliner makes your eyes look way bigger. on the few times i've worn it, i channel the lemur look. it's crazy.

keychain tip

have a small swiss army knife on your keychain. i can't tell you the number of times i've used the wee pair of scissors on that thing. for airtravel you might have to check it though--i'm not sure how stringent they are about that nowadays. swiss army knives are hecka useful.

shoes tip

gather all your uncomfortable shoes and throw them away. it's not worth it.

rhythm tip

encourage hand clapping games like miss mary mack, etc. because they build rhythm and timing. sadly i missed that bus.

book tip

fiction books should come with a list of characters at the beginning. sometimes readers get confused with which character is which. i short description would really help.

chopsticks tip

in the correct way of holding chopsticks, the sticks never cross. i don't do it right. my dad taught me, and he doesn't do it right either. but my way holds more food than the "correct" way.

cheap haircut tip

if you're not vain, or if you always have your hair up anyway, ask a friend to hack it. you don't even have to use special barbering scissors.

nails tip

been noticing male hands on BART. some of the fingernails are buffed shiny and have nice smooth edges. that . . . is . . . awesome! clean looking nails are the best.

toilet paper tip

when you go to a public bathroom, throw away the filthy, disgusting, outside layer of toilet paper. then proceed to use the paper that was underneath it.

pockets tip

there need to be more skirts with pockets! dude, chicks have stuff to carry too! it's kind of a pain to be wearing a skirt and freaking not have any pockets. and what is up with those pants that have the teeny, tiniest pockets? you can fit a quarter in them, but not much else. i like big pockets, where i can shove my whole hand in and feel warm. usable pockets--de rigeur.

germaphobe tip redux

i was just reminded of this tonight, re the previous germaphobe tip    you will use the same paper towel to open the filthy door, then prop said door open with your foot, step out and throw the paper towel in the trash.

driving tip

hey, when you're at a stop and getting ready to start driving, be on the lookout for PEOPLE, not just cars.  i've noticed that a lot of drivers totally ignore pedestrians and are only paying attention to other cars.  yeah, don't run anybody over . . . that would be bad.

red hair tip

if you're a redhead, you look fabulous in teal or green!

how to pronounce beijing

listen up!  the letter j in beijing is NOT pronounced like the s in leisure.  in fact, that sound doesn't even EXIST in mandarin.  watching the olympics i was getting really annoyed when the commentators and reporters would say bei-zhing.  argggghhhhh!!!!  repeat after me:  bay-jing, as in jingle bells.  you don't say zhingle bells.  if i hear any of you say bei-zhing, i will be mentally ripping your head off. 

bart tip

if you take bart a lot, you can get $45 or $60 tickets, and you actually get some extra money added on.  i think if you get the $45 ticket, it's a $48 value.  let's see, you can purchase the $45 ticket at safeway.  and both value tickets at the station.  but note that some vendors only accept cash.

 

and if you're going on a one time trip, go ahead and put enough money on your card for a return trip, that way you don't have to buy tickets twice.

too hot to sleep tip

get a small washcloth, wet it, wring it and put it on your bare stomach.  the coolness will make the night heat much more bearable. 

lasagna tip

for regular lasagna noodles, you don't need to boil the noodles, you can just add an extra cup of sauce on the bottom of the pan.  but take this tip with a grain of salt.  basically if you boil the noodles, you will use one regular jar of spag sauce, but if you don't preboil, you'll use one regular jar of sauce PLUS one cup of sauce from . . . elsewhere.

grocery shopping tip

when you go grocery shopping, don't take the item closest to you.  i always grab the 2nd or 3rd item behind the front item.  imagine this:  Miss Shopper goes to buy some yogurt and when she gets up front to pay, she realizes she's forgotten her check book.  whoops, she can't buy her groceries.  so the checker has to call someone to restock the yogurt.  but what if the shelf stocker is on lunch, or making out with a coworker, or taking a huge dump.  potentially, that yogurt could be sitting up at the cashiers for who knows how long.  and when the stocker does eventually put the yogurt back on the shelf, he's going to put it at the very front!    another reason for picking groceries in the back is that typically they have a longer expiration date.    for things like sour cream or some brands of peanut butter, i open the lid to make sure the inner seal isn't broken.

chopping onion tip

the only bad thing about not having to wear glasses anymore is that chopping onions is a pain.  in college after i had lasik, much to my roommates' amusement, i started wearing swimming goggles when chopping onions.  the goggles do a great job of blocking fumes that cause your eyes to tear up.  you'll look like an idiot, but you'll be a dry eyed idiot.

sandwich and pizza tip

when you make a sandwich, make sure that the innards extend out to the crust of the bread.  there's really nothing more pitiful than biting into pure crust.  and when you make a pizza, spread the sauce out to almost the very rim.  too much plain crust is a bore.

sports tips

avoid signing your kids up for gymnastics and soccer--too many sports injuries.

delicious snack tip

tablespoon of creamy peanut butter, halloween size hershey's chocolate, microwave for 20 seconds until chocolate is melted. mix the peanut butter and chocolate. then peel a banana, dip and eat. best snack ever!

placenta tip

apparently placenta in dirt helps grow things. but hospitals tend to toss them because they're considered hazmat--blood and all . . .

college tip

you don't really have to read all the books. mostly just pay attention in lecture and you'll do alright.

sad tip

if you work somewhere tragic like a mortuary, hospital or police department, have plenty of accessible tissues on hand. people are going to cry and you don't want them dripping all over your floor. and try to have really soft tissue, for pete's sake, they're in mourning.

tacky envelope tip

used to do this when i worked at a hospital: when you have to mail something back to say, sally, just cut out sally's sender address from the envelope she sent you originally and tape it to the envelope you're sending back to her. tada--saves you from writing or typing. it looks ugly but whatever. people just throw the envelope away anyway, unless they're going to cut and paste back to you!

teva washing tip

after a dusty day of hiking in your comfy tevas, power spray them with a pressure hose. i try to wash them on the lawn so the water isn't being wasted.

finger sucking tip

best fingers to suck on when you're a little kid are your left hand middle and index fingers simultaneously. they taste far superior to thumbs. your teeth should rest right between the first and second knuckles.

cantaloupe tip

to find a ripe cantaloupe, squeeze the "belly button" and if it's a little soft, then it's ripe. also, smell it. a ripe cantaloupe smells really edible.

plant tip

fake plants are weird.  why not get real plants?  i'd rather have nothing than have a fake plant.  fake plants at a restaurant are especially strange.

opening doors

how to make someone feel shiny and special:  when you're the driver, open the door for your passenger from the outside.  then when herm gets in, shut the door for herm.  a cheap way to make someone feel like royalty.  tada!

drop off tip

when you're dropping someone off, wait until they are safely indoors before driving away, just in case they've forgotten their keys or whatever.

grocery bagging tip

so i used to be a professional grocery bagger.  it was one of my very first jobs.  basically you want to put the heavy, dense stuff like potatoes and broccoli on the bottom and the fragile items on top.  if you have a fresh basket of strawberries, you want to wrap those in a small, brown paper bag and place them on the top.  double bag for additional support. 

sneaky cop rise tip

become a cop, work the streets for a year.  get knocked up.  now you're on safe desk duty.  keep having kids and keep being on desk duty.

shoe reminder tip

typically in chinese households, you take off your shoes when entering the home.  i've found that a great way to remember to take something out is to put it by my shoes.  if i have to remember to grab something from the fridge, say, i'll turn one shoe upside down and when i'm ready to go, i'll be like, "hey, that's weird . . . oh yeah, i have to remember to bring the milk."

gym tip

i passed a gym the other day and noticed all the people using the treadmills at the giant front windows.  then i noticed 2 bikes parked in the rack.  why do people insist on going to the gym when they can exercise FOR FREE?  i don't get it.  sure they might want to work on specific areas of their bodies, but honestly, people were just using the treadmills. 

 

go exercise in nature--for free instead of being in a smelly gym.  and you know all those people in there are judging you. 

cheap costume tip

i read this one in a magazine many years ago.  put on a pink shower cap and carry a small chair over your head.  tada!  you're a piece of gum stuck under the chair!

library tip

don't leave your kids in the library.  people are looking at porn on the computers. 

bumper tip

bring back the big, black rubber car bumper!!!!  i hate how for cars nowadays, one little tap and you've got a $1000 bill to fix the bumper.  life was better when we could just booiiinnnngggg bounce off the black rubber bumper and be on our merry way.

signature tip

on the compose a message screen of email, there should be this option where you can either display a signature or not.  i don't want signatures in ALL my emails, just some.  ideally i'd be able to just click a box and have my signature show.  i kind of can't believe this function isn't already available . . .

sushi tip

should you ever open a sushi restaurant, make sure the sushi chefs don't automatically add any wasabi to the sushi.  if i want to feel like i've snorted a liter of water, i'll go to my local swimming pool.  many a good piece of sushi have been ruined with a tiny bit of wasabi.  i hate that stuff!  eaters can freaking add their own wasabi.

leftover tip

if you have to save some leftovers for someone, take out a portion before serving to the other guests.

cookbook tip

make notes in your cookbooks or recipe printouts of whether or not the recipe worked.  words like, "yum" or "yuck!" work wonders in helping to determine if you want to make a particular dish again.  i've also taken to writing a big "1/2" with a circle around it if i want to halve the recipe.  that way you're less likely to accidentally forget.

no antibacterial ointment tip

in the olden days of taiwan, before there was antibac ointment, my dad's uncle got a bunch of splinters.  hair grease and dandruff was the substitute for today's topical antibacterial medicines.  you'd have to find someone who hadn't washed his hair in a few days.  i'm glad we've got longs drugs now.

no tp tip

in the olden days in taiwan, before there was toilet paper, people would whittle thin shards of bamboo with which to wipe, or rather scrape their asses. 

dish tip

let your dishes air dry. look, the only benefit to towel drying your dishes is that they won't have spots. but take a look at all the prep work you have to do! you have to get a towel. then you have to wash that towel to make sure it's clean. next you will have to wring the towel. after that you have to physically wipe down the whole surface area of your dishes. that's way too many steps for something that the air will do for free!

raisin tip

the comedic potential of a raisin increases tenfold when placed in one's nostrils. the same goes for a jelly bean.

exit strategy tip

when you go to a party with someone, have a secret signal that means "we should leave soon."

cramp tip

menstrual owies? eat a banana. have a baked potato. put something warm on your womb.

getting in line tip

before standing in a long line, ask someone at the end what it's for. want to stand in line for mamma mia tix? make sure you're not accidentally getting in line for dark knight tickets.

taiwanese forms tip

if you ever find you have to fill out a form in taiwan, note that putting an "x" in the check mark means that you're NOT choosing that box. you have to use an ACTUAL check mark to indicate you want that option--don't use "x."

taiwanese barber shop tip

some places that look like barber shops on the outside are actually brothels in taiwan.

sick food tip

go get some cans of campbells chicken soup with wild rice. sick comfort food . . .

supermarket sushi tip

i don't think i've ever had good supermarket sushi. being in the fridge hardens up the rice. rock hard sushi rice equals yuck. for much better sushi, go to a restaurant!

index card flashcard tip

i used to have to memorize a ton of chinese characters in college. i'd put 4 characters on each index card--one in each corner. save the treeeeeeeeees . . .

temporary wavy hair tip

while your hair is freshly washed, tie it up in a bun and when it's dry, it'll be wavy for a while.

how to clean glasses tip

ideally use those soft cloths that you get at the optometrist's office. next best is probably a soft cotton shirt. mr. shayler said not to use toilet paper because the small course fibers actually scratch the lens.

multiply by nine tip

coolest math trip ever! palms down, lay out your fingers with the fingers all spread out on a table. your left pinky is 1, your left ring finger is 2, left middle finger is 3, etc. ok, so if you want to multiply 4 by 9, what you do is put down finger #4 which would be your left index finger. now you see that you have 3 fingers standing to the left of the new gap. and you have 6 fingers standing to the right of the new gap. 3-6--see? 4x 9=36! tada! it's like mathemagic! this works up to 9x9.

books tip

when you're looking for nonfiction books to learn about a subject, don't ignore the children's books. typically children's books have lots of good information and they're written in clear language. i've found them to be a great way to get a basic grasp whatever topic i'm researching.

best knot EVER tip

there's a knot called the turtle knot that's fab for tying your shoes. it's much more elegant than a double knot, which is difficult to untie. with the turtle knot, you can just pull on one end string to untie, but the magical thing about the turtle knot is that it STAYS tied until you want to untie it. with regular bow knots, they come untied all the time. i'll show you how to tie it, if you want. it's really easy.

amusement park tip

chicks, don't wear white or light colored t-shirts on water rides because they become see thru.

how to not be scared of the dark tip

when i was little, i used to be really scared of the dark. then one day i was pissed off at the world and decided that i didn't care what happened. that night i slept in the dark with no nightlight and no fear. after that i wasn't scared of the dark anymore. work your anger to your advantage.

kids falling tip

ok so this is advice from a former cry baby. when a kid falls, don't act all worried, going, "oh my gosh! are you ok?!" for a sensitive kid, this freaks them out and starts the waterworks. just smile and say cheerfully, "get back up!" and you know, make sure the kid's not bleeding or whatever.

elevator tip

i usually try to avoid elevators, especially when they smell like piss. mostly i take the stairs because hey, it's good exercise. plus i'm afraid of being trapped in there with crazy people.

another tevas tip

you can run comfortably in tevas! BART was late and i ran to the library. tevas have such a wide sole that it's easy to run in them. plus, you feel super balanced too.

chinese restaurant tip

avoid the restaurants where the tables are set with forks instead of chopstiocks. and go only to the restaurants that have lots of chinese people eating in them.

are we there yet? tip

potentially, a kid asking, "are we there yet?" every 2 minutes during a drive can be maddening. i used to just say, "when i park the car and open the door, that means we're there." then i would enjoy the end of the "are we there yet?" questions.

period tip

keep a spare set of pants and underwear in your car trunk just in case you period on your clothes.

chip clip tip

i'm a poet! we don't really bother with buying chip clips to seal bags. instead we just use clothespins.

pasta tip

right after you cook pasta, dump it in a colander. i usually have a plate under the colander just in case some noodles try to escape. run cold water over the noodles and give the colander a couple of good shakes to keep the noodles from sticking to each other. one giant mass of spaghetti brain is a bit disturbing.

backpack tip

i started doing this when i lived in taiwan--pickpocket capital of the world. when riding on crowded public transportation, wear your backpack on the front of your body to deter pickpocketers. you might look like a dweeb, but you'll be a dweeb who still has his wallet! and that's the better kind of dweeb to be.

if you have a purse, try to get velcro so when someone tries to open it, you can hear it.

phone tip

when ending a phone call, don't be so quick to hang up. i've inadvertently hung up on so many people who were in the middle of telling me, "goodbye." wait a couple of beats before hanging up.

library books and food tip

don't read a library book while you're eating. imagine that same book being read by a filthy disgusting person sitting on a toilet taking a huge dump. assume that library books are dirty.

skin a fish tip

ok, this is way more effective if you can actually WATCH someone doing it. put the fish, skin side down on your cutting board. angle your knife and make a small cut between the skin and the meat. now with your sharp knife at a 30 degree angle, use your other hand to anchor the skin. slowly, holding the knife down at an angle, drag it over the skin. fish skin is amazingly tough stuff and won't cut while you're doing this. but again, if you can get someone to show you, it'll be a better way to learn.

fire tip

pyrophobic? use those long lighters where you push a button and the flame is a foot away.

dork tip

have a clear understanding with your friends to have them let you know when you have a piece of lettuce stuck to your face.

eraser tip

don't have an eraser? you can use a rubber band to rub off the graphite from a pencil.

sock rag tip

a college roommate would use old socks to wipe down a fogged up bathroom mirror.

avoid turning 30 tip

in the duodecimal system which has a base of 12 instead of 10, you'll be turning 26 years old and not 30.

tampon tip

set your alarm on your cellphone to remind you when to remove your tampon. it's usually 8 hours.

happiness tip

it's easier to be happy when you're not obsessed with what other people think of you.

water tip

kidney stones hurt like mad. drink lots of water.

watch tan tip

to avoid a watch tan, fasten your watch to your belt loop instead of on your wrist.

spoon fun tip

heat up a regular size metal spoon with your hot breath and by rubbing it vigorously with your fingers. once it's nice and warm you can stick it on the end of your nose and it'll stay!

patriotic tip

want to feel particularly patriotic? go watch a baseball game and sit in the regular seats. stand up during the star spangled banner and put your right hand over your heart.

boy eyeliner tip

only chicks should wear eyeliner. the only guys who can remotely pull it off are keith richards and johnny depp in pirates of the caribbean.

big hair tip

if you have big hair, work it! big hair is the best!

photo preservation tip

keep photos and paintings away from direct sunlight because over time, they fade in the light.

cheer up tip

feeling down? go stand in front of your mirror and stick a couple of cigarettes up your nostrils. i promise you'll feel better in no time.

happy morning commute tip

listen to sarah and vinnie or whoever her partner happens to be.

women's bathroom tip

chicks are dumb. when you go to the women's bathroom and there's a line, look under the stalls. you'll usually find that at least one stall is empty. for some reason, chicks are wired to just stand in line and not check under the stall. break the cycle!

store checkout tip

at places like Target, you can bypass the usual long lines by paying for your purchases at the electronics department.

thrift shop tip

When you buy clothes, especially at a thrift shop, be sure to look carefully at each article you're considering to make sure there are no defects. Remember, you're buying other people's castaways. Look for stains.

random laugh fest tip

go watch harold and kumar 2. it's hilariously random. and there is a whole lot of nakedness. completely random, insane nakedness.

clean mouse tip

If the tracking ball gets dirty, the mouse is hard to use. You can take out the ball and wipe it off, then wipe off the little rolling tubes inside the mouse. They're probably covered with a thin layer of debris. Put the cover back on and it'll work better now.

envelope tip

lick an envelope?  ick.  i use elmer's glue on the seal.  my grandma would use grains of cooked rice.

eating with chinese people tip

oldest person gets food first.

zoo tip

when allowed, touch the animals.  it's neat to feel the skin of a snake, the prickles of a starfish body, the roughness of a skate's wing.  touching the animals definitely makes for a better zoo experience.

memories tip

every once in a while, take a look at your old pictures.  reminisce about what a dork you were.  know that you're still a dork.

walking tip

when walking, keep eyes slightly down to avoid stepping in gum.

sunglass case tip

quick and easy way to store your sunglasses are in a clean sock.  just make sure you don't sit on your bag.

name tip

for goodness sakes, don't give your kid a ridiculous name.  pilot inspektor?  apple?  sunday?  that's just bad parenting.  your kids are going to have enough to deal with, without you giving them a massively craptastic name.

wheelchair tip

when having a full on convo with a wheelchair bound person, lower your body so he's not craning his neck to see you.  you're probably a lot taller than he is.

blind tip

if a blind person asks for directions, you should offer to escort him if it's a short distance and ask if he'd like to take hold of your arm.  don't just drag him heave ho to wherever.

deaf tip

when communicating with a deaf person who has a sign language interpreter, your eyes should be looking at the deaf person and NOT the signer.

kid tip

don't ignore your kids.  you had them.  you have to pay attention to them, at least some of the time.  and watch what you say around them.  they don't really have good filters and what you say, they may repeat at embarrassing moments.

best smell tip

what can be better than the smell of nothing?

prayer tip

if you're new to praying, here's the basic structure of my prayers.  first tell God what you're thankful for.  this can be what you're thankful for in general, what you're thankful for that month, that week, that day, etc.  then ask Him for what you want.  typically i ask that He watch over me and the people i love.  my prayers are super simple.

contacts tip

hard contacts really hurt.  if you happen to get dust in your eye, it feels like diamonds.  sometimes they can roll under your eye.  go get lasik if you can.

response tip

the antiwhiner is such a superstar with this.  she's super diligent about letting people know whether or not she can attend events.  she shares factors that may impede her arrival and provides updates on any changes.  that way people aren't sitting around wondering what's up.  she's good peoples.

apple tip

my mom used to immerse peeled cut fuji apples in a bowl of water sprinkled with a little bit of salt.  you let it sit there for a minute and take it out.  they don't turn brown and they don't taste salty because the solution was so diluted.  salty apples would drive me mad!

semantics tip

the phrase "i could care less" actually means that you DO care.  look at it another way.  if i were to say, "i could drink less," it implies that i drink something, but if i wanted to, i could drink a little less.  if you DON'T care, you should say, "i COULDN'T care less."  it means that the amount of care you have for whatever you're talking about is zero.

recipe tip

i'm totally guilty of this.  when you make something from a recipe, slowly read the entire recipe thru to make sure you have enough of each ingredient and the proper pans, etc.  also note when you might need to take something out, flip it over and throw it back in, eg. with basting a broiling fish.

hug tip

how to hug:  wrap your arms around the person and squeeze.  on a scale of 1-10, squeeze at a 6.  you are not a limp fish.  make it last for at least 2-3 seconds.  release your prey.

free food tip

costco sample hour. farmers markets. wander around a park and look for people who are winding down their picnic party and have tons of extra food.  chances are they don't want to take it home and if you look pitiful enough, they might offer you some.  bulk bins from supermarkets.  make friends with people who are trying to lose weight.  they'll gladly give you their evil (but delicious!) temptations.  dumpster dive behind a grocer.  by law they have to toss things marked expired but in reality they're still good for a few more days at least.  things to get here are breads, can foods, etc.   yeah, i haven't done all the above tips.  just some ideas.

burned finger tip

no idea how this works.  it appears to be an asian remedy as i've heard it only from other yellows.  if you burn your finger, immediately hold your earlobe.

sunscreen tip

when applying sunscreen, don't forget the tip top of your forehead right next to your hairline.  and it's also important to apply behind your knees if you're going to the beach.  it hurts pretty bad if you get burned there.  and if you do get burned, noxzema or aloe is supposed to help.

ayurvedic tip

best sick medicine in the world is samahan, an ayurvedic powder from sri lanka.  my landlady gave me some in hawaii and it's awesome!  it's impossible to find here, you can order it online for $30 a box which keeps for 2 years.  there's powdered ginger in it which kills the pain in your throat.  i'm not usually one for medicine but i love that stuff!

napkin tip

this one is from my etiquette book.  when dining, if you need to leave your table for a minute, the napkin goes on your chair.  and when you're done eating, the napkin goes to the left of your dinner plate, not on it.  make sure no dirty part of the napkin is showing.  thank you to author sue fox and the midwife for gifting the book to me.

blood tip

chicks, keep tampons and pads in your car.

fave book tip

have a favorite book or at least one that you really like.  this is a very common question.  it boggles me when someone can't answer this one.  inside, i'm just like, "what do you mean?"  i love hearing people speak passionately about books they've read, even if it's a book i would never read for myself.

first manicure tip

go with a friend, it's 10 times more fun!  you can compliment each other's color choice and take dumb pictures of the final result.

teaching tip

when you're explaining something, speak slowly and ask, "do you understand?" a couple of times.  at the end of the lesson, ask, "do you have any questions?"  then let him practice.  if it's a complicated task, tell the person that he can come ask you questions if a problem should arise.  and you want to be nice.  no one wants to ask you a thing if you are going to be a grump.  so effing smile.

swimming tip

this one is for the antiwhiner.  i was wrong before.  when you're swimming, it looks like the best way to kick is with bending your legs.  at least that's how the olympians do it.

black and white tip

you can't really wear black and white stripes.  horizontal stripes make you look like a prisoner.  vertical stripes make you look like a ref.  diagonal stripes make you look like some sort of optical illusion.

kid tip

it might look like junk but to your kid, it could be valued treasure.  i'm still scarred from when my mom threw away my sacred sticker collection from when i was a kid.  ask before you toss.  if things get out of control, you can limit his junk to what fits in a large suitcase.

dirty look tip

develop a very strong "dirty look."  use it sparingly.  feel its power.

kid tip

don't cry in front of your kid.  it's confusing.  you're supposed to be the strong one, the pillar in your child's life.  if he sees you weak, it really shakes his foundation.  exceptions include things like funerals or the like.  but in general, if you have to cry, do it where your kids can't see.

kids lie tip

don't be one of those idiot parents who thinks their kids are perfect.  chances are if you think your kid is a saint, he completely takes advantage of you.  don't be a chump.

growth spurt tip

i guess this will be for you parents and parents to be.  when you're going through your growth spurt, make sure to play sports that make you even taller like swimming or basketball.  i didn't really take advantage of my growth spurt and am a pathetic height.

joke tip

memorize a few good jokes.  they can be lame, groanworthy ones.  in fact, i rather like those the best!  share them with friends and people you know.  here are two of my favorites:  what do you call other people's cheese?  nacho cheese.  and what did the fish say when he hit the sall?  dam.  laughter is a good thing.

baby tip

don't just assume that babies like to be tossed in the air.  it freaks some babies out.  they get a look of panicked constipation about the face.

email tip

sometimes i'm guilty of this too.  when responding to an email, before hitting reply, make sure you've answered all the questions the writer had asked of you.  it is beyond lame when i've had to ask someone the same, SIMPLE questions three times because of his failure to respond.  oh, he sends replies, just not with the answers i need.  don't be that person, it makes you appear careless and sloppy.

delegate tip

if you don't already do this, learn how to delegate.  it frees you to do other things.  i love teaching people things because now i've passed on knowledge, the people i teach have a valuable skill and they can help me out.  then i'm able to be creative and work on another project.

automatic toilet tip

i hate those automatic flushing toilets.  they're evil and will suck you and your ass into the abyss.  if you ever own a restaurant, don't have the automatic toilets.  just trust that people know how to flush.

how to avoid a speeding ticket

you're on the road, going fast, maybe a little too fast.  suddenly you see flashing red lights approaching.  have no fear, here's what you do.  get on your bluetooth and dial 911.  report a fake accident a few exits ahead.  the officer will be routed to that fake accident since it's a higher priority and you'll be scott free.  make sure your caller id is restricted otherwise you might have some explaining to do if they call you back.  and chp is notorious for their long wait times, which could be another wrench.  next time, just drive slower.

bluetooth tip

i hate my bluetooth headset because the sound pumps directly INTO your ear.  that freaks me out.  they should come out with a bluetooth that is mounted directly in your car.  some cars already have this.  it's this screen that looks very stealable in the front console area.  but i was thinking of having a small button/speaker system on the top rim of the driver's side.  that way it is not visible to a potential thief.  plus the sound isn't directly INSIDE your ear.  somebody go invent this.

radio idea

ok, wouldn't this be awesome--voice commanded radio.  you would hold down this button while driving and say "play bon jovi all" and all the bon jovi songs would play one by one.  or "play gaelic storm all scramble" and you'd get a random shuffle of gaelic storm songs.  or "play alternative" for alt music.  or "play classical no beethoven" for any classical music without ludwig.  or "play baby one more time"  is this already out there?  is someone working on it?  there's a crapload of money in that idea.  they could make it standard in luxury vehicles.  it might have to be some sort of satellite onstar thing.

cell tip

dear friends, take your cellphone with you.  make sure it's charged.  i like you.  i want to talk to you.  i want you to want to talk to me.

birthmark tip

if you have a birthmark, don't scratch it off.  one day i was bored and curiosity got the better of me.  i scratched off a flat birthmark on my right woble (otherside of the elbow).  it disappeared!  the skin was flesh colored.  a while later though it grew back, this time puffy!  it was like revenge of the birthmark.  and now i keep messing with it.  i probably look like a crack addict half the time, jonesing for my next fix.  but all i'm doing is rubbing the mound of birthmark-ness.

don't have crappy customer service tip

as you may know, i've got a new obsession with the power supply backpack by jansport. this magnificent beast of a bag has pockets galore and i first caught sight of it on the jansport website. ok so here's the dealie-o: i just want to make sure that one of the two big pockets is big enough to hold my lunchbox. so their website states the dimensions of the entire bag, but not for each individual pocket. i write a message via the website to inquire about the pocket dimension. wait . . . no response. i call their customer service number and speak with someone who says she doesn't have the info handy and that she'll call me back . . . it's been 2 weeks and no response. i go over to jansport headquarters and ask to see the backpack for two freaking minutes and am told they can't do that because they don't sell to the public. the receptionist calls customer service and they say the dimensions are 17x11.5x1.5. arghhhh! those are the dimensions of the laptop pocket, not the regular big pocket!!!! i fully appreciate that receptionist is just doing her job, i appreciate that there are rules that she needs to follow. i let her know that she's only given me the dimensions of the laptop sleeve and she said that's what customer service gave her. then i ask her for stores that may carry the bag. as i'm walking out the door, i see a random lady and say, "your customer service sucks." she listens patiently as i explain everything above, telling her that i've already tried multiple retail outlets with no avail. she takes down my number and promises that either she or someone else will give me a call back with the super simple information that i need. so now i'm waiting . . . the thing that really bothers me is that jansport backpacks are renowned for their quality. i've had a jansport since i was a little kid! their backpacks are sturdy and highly utilitarian. but man, you'd really think that a company with such an amazing product would have a customer service mission that matches it!

exercise tip

tv time provides a great opportunity to exercise. you can easily hula hoop for 1/2 an hour while watching a brainless sitcom.

underwear tip

invest in black underwear. it shows less when you've accidentally perioded on it. i've had to throw away plenty of good white underwear that way.

how to be helped tip

If you're waiting for someone who is in the act of providing you with service, don't you DARE tap your fingers impatiently on the wooden table. I have no problems being purposefully slow with people like that.

fun tip

go use the peddle boats at Lake Chabot.

germaphobe tip

Before you wash your hands in a public restroom, get your paper towel first. That way you're not touching the filthy lever on the dispenser after your hands are pristine.

hiking tip

Joaquin Miller Park up in Oakland is a lovely place to hike and they've got a parking lot so that's not an issue.

carpal tunnel tip

Sometimes I use my left hand to control the mouse to avoid workplace injury.

restaurant service tip

They do this awesome thing at Bubba Gumps where there's a clear sign on each table that either says "Run Forrest Run" or "Stop Forrest Stop." And depending on how you've flipped the sign, a waitstaff will come to your table even if it's not the person who took your order. Why the heck aren't more restaurants doing this?! Instead, I swear they come by when you're mouth is full and ask, "Is everything OK this evening?"

gear shifting tip

I recently learned that when you are shifting gears, you don't want your bike chain to go diagonally because this stretches the chain and causes it to break down quickly. My bike is 21 speeds. Basically this means that there are 3 shifting options on my left handle bar and 7 shifting options on my right handle bar. The left shifter works the gears near the pedals and the right shifter works the gears on the rear wheel.

When you go uphill, you will want to DOWNshift. That makes it easier to peddle. When you downshift your left hand shifter, it moves from a bigger gear to a smaller one. So I think you can imagine that it's a lot easier to pedal a small gear than a big one.

And to avoid a diagonal chain, you can follow this chart:
left gear 1, use right gear 1, 2 and 3
left gear 2, use right gear 3, 4 and 5
left gear 3, use right gear 5, 6, and 7.

reading instructions tips

Seriously, when you're doing something for the very first time, take a quick minute to effing look around and see if there are any instructions! I swear, there are freaking signs everywhere and generally people don't bother looking at them! Case in point, there's a very clear sign that tells people how to place paper on the copier glass, but 90% of the time, they come back and ASK! And this is already AFTER I've pointed them to the VERY CLEAR sign!

stay awake tip

In order to stay awake, I used to chew gum on the 1.5 hour ride driving to and from Davis.

scratch paper tip

Use old, opened envelopes and junk mail envelopes as scratch paper. They've got the perfect size to make grocery lists, etc.

what's wrong tip

"Is there anything bothering you?" is infinitely better than, "Why are you being such a bitch?"

giving directions tip

When you're in a car and giving directions, instead of saying "right," you should say "correct." Otherwise your driver might make a right hand turn when that's not what you want.

nailpolish tip

It's a lot of layers. A clear base coat, then a coat of whatever color you want. Then another coat of that same color. Then a clear finishing coat.

clothes tip

This is another way I save extra bucks. At Old Navy and other fine clothing lines, I can get away with wearing a big boy's. My jean jacket that I adore is actually a boy's. They had a similar jacket for lady's but it was more expense. Similarly with pants I sometimes get boys.

sunlight tip

Dude, if there's enough light out, turn off your lamp. It boggles my mind how the stadium has all its lights on when it's broad daylight out! Plus, natural light is better for reading than artificial light.

laundry tips

This is a tip that I got from Eve Lin years ago. You don't really have to hand wash bras. If you throw them in a mesh bag (along with your half socks), you can toss them into the washing machine. I always take the bras out to hang dry though, the half socks you can toss in the dryer though.

Also, I reuse dryer sheets. You can use one sheet for many dryer loads! I store it in my mesh bag and before I dump everything in the washing machine, I take it out so I don't accidentally wash it.

OK, I've got one more. You can toss the detergent measuring cup into your wash, it'll be fine. I used to just use the cup to measure, then I'd wash it out in the sink, but that was before I knew you could toss it into the washing machine without any problems.

Oh and another efficiency tip! I tend to purchase clothes that don't bleed. When I do laundry I don't separate the colors. Everything just gets washed together. Additionally, I avoid articles that are dry clean only.

salad tip

this one is from my jay: she says caramelized pecans are an excellent topping for salad.

511 tip

you can call 511 to hear about traffic conditions on the freeway. the voice recognition feature isn't that great though.

late tip

if you're running late, call the people who are expecting you. that way they won't worry. plus, you'll save them the effort of taking the time out to call YOU.

and if you're chronically late, that means you have to leave your house earlier.

public service tip

when helping customers, smile. it doesn't really matter if you don't feel like. it doesn't matter if you're having a crap day. it doesn't matter if you didn't get enough sleep. you're paid to help these people accomplish their goals.

if they're jerks, then you don't need to smile. but start the interaction off with some effing kindness.

dirty car fix

jen r says a silver paint job on a car hides dirt and dust really well. on both black and white cars, it's really obvious when your car needs to be washed.

best soap and shampoo tip

best soap is ivory because it's so pure and it doesn't leave a film on your skin like some of those freaking girly soaps like caress.

best shampoo is pert because it takes care of dandruff and has built in conditioner. it smells better than head and shoulders too.

easy sock folding tip

put one sock on top of the other. fold them in half together the long way. stack each pair vertically with your other socks. you'll have a row of vertical pairs of socks.

how to take notes

write fast, come up with a bunch of shorthand notations, eg. a triangle means change, bc for because, ie. means for example, etc. after your class, go back and read over your notes. a couple of days later, read over your notes again.

oil change tip

they're cheap at walmart $27 ish and they check all sorts of stuff like windshield wiper fluid, tire pressure, etc.

spaceship tip

if you ever have to entertain kids, it's fun to crawl underneath the dining room table and pretend it's a spaceship. you can have an adventure and blast off into a far reaching galaxy.